The unsung hero

The local police announced last week that crime here in Gotham was down across the board over the last year. Homicides down 20 percent, overall crime down 5 percent. Not a bad 2005. But the commissioner had better be careful not to strain a muscle patting himself on the back. He and I both know that when things go bad, he'll need his strength to flip that switch on the Bat Signal. Am I angry that the police are taking all the credit, making no mention of the real reason for the lower crime rate? No. My shroud of mystery makes me that much more effective as I clean up these filthy streets. In addition to forging my stocky but chiseled body into a fearsome weapon, I employ psychological warfare techniques. Last night, I trailed a scared dope dealer for five blocks. I hung from a Batrope above him, the sound of my heavy breathing putting the fear of God in him before I finally swooped in to administer justice.